A Very Special Triathlon

The Handyman and I have a mean habit of glancing out the window on the weekends, watching people jogging down our street, and making fun of the ones who have an odd gait. We'll even clear out some of the furniture in the living room so we can imitate their oafish running, eliciting all kinds of giggles from our children. Well, never again. Yesterday I caught a glimpse of my running self on video and believe that I could quite possibly earn a place on the U.S. Special Olympic team.

My knees knock together when I run. They don't actually touch but appear as if they might. Something akin to a breaststroke kick. Regardless, the cerebral-palsy-like style did carry me over the finish line yesterday. As a matter of fact, I finished in EXACTLY the same time as last year.

Today, when I expressed to my kids that I hope I can finish a little faster next year, my eldest pointed out to me that I appeared only to be "jogging" the run and that I should have been doing a full-on sprint. The middle one suggested I wear "Heelys." Do you wear a helmet with Heelys? 'Cuz a helmet would definitely go with my running style. As would leg braces.